In the May 1st online edition of the Chronicle of Philanthropy a headline stated: “Charities Give Boards Little Training in Fund Raising, Study Finds.” I would argue that most board members do not want training in fund raising. They didn’t join our organizations because they wanted to learn how to prospect, cultivate, and make “asks.”

When we try to engage our boards in fund raising, we make a glaring mistake—we talk about it from the organization’s perspective rather than the board member’s perspective. We seek to engage them in organizational fund raising mechanisms and activities that make many members feel downright uncomfortable, reinforcing their aversion. The 2010 BoardSource Governance Index survey shows that the situation (board members and their desire to fund raise) is getting worse.

Board members who succeed in the fund raising effort, inherently see it as a means and not an end. The “end” they are seeking, building a strong relationship between those in their network and the cause they care deeply about, is a place where everybody wins—the donor, the board member, and the organization.

To achieve this win-win, we need to help our boards cultivate three capabilities:

I. Learning their own story about the organization — finely worded messages are great, but board members need to find the organizational stories that are most meaningful to them. This helps them in their own self discovery of why they care about the cause as well as builds their ability to share stories that are personally compelling.

II. Finding their role in building organizational influence — each board member brings their own unique talents to helping the organization build relationships. Instead of forcing members to conform to a fundraising approach, first discover what these talents are and create social situations where they can practice using them.

III. Playing an active role in building their strategy — key to engaging board members in the fundraising effort is creating opportunities for them to shape the case for support as well as the greater strategy they will use in helping the organization build influence.